Awestruck

So, yesterday I was driving to a 4th of July sale at the outlets and heard a song on the radio that I haven't heard at church since the winter of '05-'06.  Our church tends to play the songs that are popular on Klove...so, we heard this one a lot and then suddenly, not at all.  This particular song, "Indescribable" by Chris Tomlin, was being played almost every week while I just so happened to be in the depths of despair and depression in regards to our infertility. 

Well, you know how hearing an old song brings back the emotions that you were feeling at the time?  I started sobbing in the car remembering how alone I felt during this time of my life.  I distinctly remember hearing the chorus at church:

Indescribable / Uncontainable / You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name / You are amazing God. All powerful / Untamable / Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim / You are amazing God.
(Indescribable (Chris Tomlin) – © Six Step Records – a

...and thinking...if God created all of the stars, placed them in the sky and named them...then, how is it possible that he could forget about me...about my dreams of a family?!  I was so sad and felt so abandoned!

So, sitting in my car yesterday, a year and a half later, with my son in the backseat babbling to himself, I was overwhelmed with the truth of the lyrics to this song.  I was awestruck to realize that--God never forget me--he simply had a different plan from mine (easy to say now...this was a very difficult reality at the time).  And now...with Sammy in our lives, I am more and more overwhelmed by the superiority of God's plan!  Sammy brings joy wherever he goes and has filled our lives with inconceivable happiness.  And, on days when I'm feeling particularly brave, I actually allow myself to to imagine a world in which Sammy remained an orphan...and I am aware of the beauty of God's wisdom!

You are amazing God...even if we are sometimes slow to catch on to the beauty of your plans for us!

Speaking of beautiful plans...here's Sammy...
...wearing his "I already know more than the President" shirt! He REALLY likes this onesie...thanks Jen Howard!